Yo! I've been slaving like a house-elf the past few days cleaning out and sprucing up my room with new furnitures I've bought. Here's how it looks like now...
This is only half of my room. The other half is still under major construction. There's still a collapsible table I've yet to set up and I need to clear out my book shelves, find a damned place to hang all my old pics and get rid of all the unwanted boxes. But here's how the other half look anyway...
Anyway, as I was doing all these, I've come across various old stuff I might have mentioned to a few people I talked to, like old letters, cards, diaries, photographs, etc. But I also came across bits and pieces of paper tore off pages of random books that I've written my poems on and there's two complete ones that I've found...
Fear
The late winter breeze quietly spoke my name
Gazing out my window I'm surprised it all look the same
Of all the pain I've gone through, of all the tears I've shed
Everyday seems a mistake made, every year seems a lesson fed
Can I still smile after changes found me?
Maybe a laughter with a different meaning
Are they good or bad, I'll never know
Leaving bittersweet memories I can never let go
But nevertheless, it's inevitable
An old countenance but I'm a different girl
Sorrow seeps coz I can't cling on
Losing hold and everything's gone
It's growing up my dear
It's growing up I fear
But as I sat pondering, spring is drawing near
Though regrets I can't forget
I'm ready to forgive
For a new beginning
This poem is not dated but I must have wrote it when I just finished my o'levels because I was feeling sad at that time about moving on to different instituition from my friends and that we would no longer have the crazy fun we had.
Serving Time
I took a trip to mars
For a nine month freedom fast
Did things turn ugly?
Did it surface from me?
In my astonishing nightmare spree
The situation had me mystified
How did I end up in a hurricane of lies?
Caught between my love and my pride
My alter spoke otherwise
I'm bleeding from incision
From a robbery in action
The victim or the guilty
There's no determination
So I'm spared from the death sentence
But found my tickets to asylum
Who sneered in my way?
Who cried for my pain?
I only pray to do my time in silence
I wrote this after 9 months, as u may infer from the poem, in my relationship with Andrew and it was the first major friction we've had. Sometimes when a love goes wrong, there's no explanation, no reason and no fault, or at least none that we can determine. And sometimes, being stuck in a relationship that went bad is like imprisonment, and letting go is like getting hanged. I'm glad I no longer feel that way now :).
Well, there are still a few incomplete ones that I've wrote but I have no idea what to do with them. Discard it? Complete it? It's hard to finish a feeling that I've felt ages ago. Maybe I'll just stash it away and see what goes.
