In another 10 hours I'll be sitting for my final IB quiz. And from 10hours ago up till now, I've done nothing but to nap, watch tv, surf the net, fiddle with photoshop etc.. And then I ask myself, am I sure I'm done studying IB? My answer was "I am pretty sure I understand every concept taught about IB, but whether I can obtain a perfect score tomorrow depends on whether I get tricked by the questions or not." Yet, I can't help feeling guilty that I am not seizing every minute to make sure I revise every concept such that they are imprinted deeply in my mind. It then hit me that perhaps this is the sign of something that Yanlong has been talking about: the grade chase.

I mean, I'm intrigued by all that I've learned so far. But why am I forcing myself to re-read all these shit again and again and again? Wouldn't my time be better spent on learning new concepts, theories or ideas (not related to the exams)? Well, it would be if there isn't the grade chase I have allowed myself to sink into unknowingly. If there isn't exams and grades, I think I would have learn more than just 5 modules a semester. Instead of reading the same textbook twice, I would be reading 2 different books once.

You must be laughing. You must be thinking if there wasn't grades and exams, I would be wasting my time watching tv and idle and daydream the whole day. Maybe I would. But I can tell you I have never been so challenged by everything I've been learning in uni (minus bgs, twc and the lot), esp this semester. I am so inspired by all the trading strategies i've learnt that I can't help sighing over the fact that I only have one last finance elective to clear. I want to do more! I would love to read more financial books!

I would, if there is time. I would, if I'm not chasing the grade.

And I can't stop chasing the grade.

My life has been built around it.

So has yours.