Just had an intensive heart-to-heart talk with a friend I did a proj with exactly a year ago. This sem, we're doing another proj together. But this time round, the interaction is not as cordial as it used to be.

And then I decided to talk to her. Towards the end of the conversation I told her, "u know ____, u weren't exactly this way when we did the ______ proj."

And she replied me, "u know ash, u aren't exactly what I thought you're like too."

I was sort of surprise to hear that.

Have I changed? Or is this the real me? The one who is more eager to lead in a group, taking charge?

Is it coz of I'm sick of waiting for someone to take the lead and always end up with screwed up results that I want to be more proactive now?

Or am I just a dominatrix (haha) deep down inside?

I guess it doesn't matter which one it is. What truly matters is that it is true that I am the way I am now, regardless of what caused it. And is it for better or worse?

Plus awhile back, I also discover some startling facts about myself. I was having a discussing with another proj group about certain tactics to do well for the proj..tactics in question being kinda conscience-nagging. Yet it was widely justified because the world out there is competitive. To survive u need to be realistic. But am i really capable of unscrupulous means to get my way?
Is it okay to?